How to Suck it up Social Media Style: A Recovery Program

Have you or someone you love recently been offended by a comment made via social media?

Are you currently discussing the grievance amongst your closest friends?

Do you often feel the need to address minor disagreements via comments on public profiles, private messages, or outright unfriendings?

If so, you may be suffering from an acute case of “Toomuchtimeonyourhandsitis”. This condition is serious and requires immediate attention—but there is hope!

toomuchtimeonyourhandsitisToomuchtimeonyourhandsitis can be effectively treated with regular injections of SUCKITUP and GETALIFE.

Less harsh alternatives include a recommended daily dosage of physical exercise (endorphins, yo), healthy personal relationships, and a fulfilling career—essentially, any activity that logs you out of Facebook and into the real world.

But the healing doesn’t stop there. Once you’ve acknowledged that other humans are going to say and do things you don’t like, you are on the road to recovery. Here are five easy ways to guarantee that someone will have an opinion that differs from yours:

  1. Pursue a career in line with your personal values.
  2. Date someone who makes your heart flutter.
  3. Have a political stance.
  4. Have an opinion (about anything).
  5. Be alive.

Here’s the rub. YOU CHOOSE how much time you waste obsessing about minor disagreements (and, no coincidence here, how much time you fritter away arguing about trivialities on Facebook).

Read: Your peace of mind is your own responsibility.

So pick your battles, people. For someone fighting in an outright war, the gravity of your complaint likely pales in comparison to their recent layoff, their medical diagnosis, their crippling addiction, or their death in the family.

As a general rule, it’s safe to assume that if something offends you (with exception to murder, rape, or the literal kicking of babies and/or puppies), your trivial beef is probably best swallowed and forgotten.

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